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Dear Drama Queens of DSL

Printed From: Dark and Shattered Lands (DSL)
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Forum Name: The Rules
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URL: http://www.dsl-mud.org/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=80732
Printed Date: 23 October 2017 at 4:35am
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Topic: Dear Drama Queens of DSL
Posted By: Scorn
Subject: Dear Drama Queens of DSL
Date Posted: 09 September 2014 at 7:24pm
First of all, because YOU ARE A DRAMA QUEEN, you already think this thread is about you.  If you feel that way, then YES, IT IS.  Continue reading….

Some advice from me to you.

1 Know when you're creating drama. One way to stop being a drama queen is to become self-aware enough to know when you're the one bringing on the drama. Do you find that you always end up getting in conflicts with people, and that no one on DSL is easy to get along with? Do you find yourself getting heated, crying, or stomping your feet on a daily basis? If that's the case -- unless you're living in a war zone -- chances are that a lot of this drama is self-created. Knowing that you are the source of a lot of the drama is the first step to curbing it.

Once you see that you're the source, you'll stop blaming the people around you and will see that you're in control of the situation.

2 Stop making a big deal out of everything. If you're a drama queen, then you must be an expert at taking a 3 or 4 situation up to a 10 on the drama Richter scale. The next time you're faced with a conflict or a minor disturbance, take a minute to ask yourself how big of a deal it is, in the scheme of things. Maybe your kingdom leader is 10 minutes late for your raid. Maybe you died on your way to Gahboom. Will this matter to you 10 hours from now -- or even one hour? Is it worth crying over? Is it worth ruining your day over?

These are important questions to ask yourself. Chances are, you'll see that you're making a big deal over nothing and will be able to move forward without throwing a fit.

Making a big deal over every little thing will not help your mental state. It'll make you stressed out, sleepless, generally irritable and unpleasant to be around, even online. Remember that minimizing your problems will actually make you feel better.

If you make a big deal over everything, then no one will take you seriously when something that is actually devastating happens to you.

3 Work on building your self-esteem. A lot of the time, drama queens are the way they are because they have a low self-esteem. They may feel like people will only pay attention to them or give them the time of day if they are constantly being dramatic, loud, or talking smack about people. Ask yourself if this sounds like you, and think about your own self-image and how you really feel about yourself. When you get up and look in the mirror, what do you see? Work on loving the person you see there, and not basing your self worth on how much attention people give you.

Of course, building confidence takes a lifetime. The sooner you start realizing that your worth should come from yourself, not from what people people think of you, the sooner you'll stop creating drama.

Really think about yourself. Nobody's perfect -- what are your flaws? How can you work on addressing -- or accepting them?

Part of feeling good about yourself is hanging out with people who make you feel good. Are there people like that on DSL? If everyone around you is focused on putting you down, then you won't be able to feel good about yourself until you ditch them.  Get rid of the people who ruin your experience!

4 Stop seeing yourself as the victim. A lot of your drama may come from the fact that you feel like everyone has wronged you, that the Immortals have treated you badly, and that you deserve a lot better than what you're getting. Of course, some of this may be true some of the time, but it's unlikely that everyone in your life is determined to make you feel horrible. Instead, get empowered by the fact that you are in control of your own destiny. Stop saying, "I can't believe what I didn't get…" or "I can't believe what happened to me…" and start your sentences with something positive like, "I did this cool thing today…"

Don't give people so much power over you. Instead of obsessing over what they did to you, work on doing things to make your own life better.

Ask yourself why you need to look for sympathy all the time. You don't really want that kind of attention all the time, do you? Sometimes, you may really need sympathy, so don't use up your sympathy points over nothing just to get attention.

5 Remind yourself that it's almost never the end of the world. Drama queens tend to think that almost everything is worth getting mad and throwing a fit about, but that's almost never the case. While you may hate hearing people say, "It's not the end of the world," sometimes this is something you have to tell yourself when you face difficult situations. Let's say you did poorly on one test. Ask yourself if it's really going to ruin or affect your life in the long run. The answer is almost never, never yes. Think about this the next time you feel the anger boiling up, or the tears brimming in your eyes.

6 Don't feed into other people's drama. Though you may be the only drama queen in your circle of friends, it's likely that there are other dramatic people around you, or just people who like to talk about their drama. Don't let them get to you, rile you up, or make you angry for no reason. If someone else is acting dramatic toward you, tell him or her to cool it, say it's not that big of a deal, and move on with it instead of letting it get to you. When it comes to other people who want to fight with you, rile you up, or just make a mountain out of a molehill, the most important thing is not to engage them.

Engaging in an argument is a choice. If someone wants to talk to you about something, insist that you'll only do it in a calm or reasonable manner.

Think before you type.  Confide in a close friend instead of everybody.  Treat everyone with respect.  Avoid gossiping about other players or imms.  Avoid name calling.

Put a little perspective in your DSL life.

I really am just trying to help you.


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DSL Twitter: http://twitter.com/dslmud/

DSL Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/groups/dslmud/

Scorn facebook: http://www.facebook.com/Tonycarbs



Replies:
Posted By: Sfkn2
Date Posted: 09 September 2014 at 8:38pm
Wow. Very good points.

Thank you.

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Vandavar tells the group 'i can never find the hole'

Malikk tells the group 'jobs are overrated when you're the number 1 pker on dsl'


Posted By: ashy
Date Posted: 09 September 2014 at 8:54pm
A short list of the phrases considered "name calling" I feel would be very helpful here.

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you should try playing the mage


Posted By: Scorn
Date Posted: 09 September 2014 at 9:02pm
Originally posted by ashy ashy wrote:

A short list of the phrases considered "name calling" I feel would be very helpful here.

I disagree.  Use common sense.


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DSL Twitter: http://twitter.com/dslmud/

DSL Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/groups/dslmud/

Scorn facebook: http://www.facebook.com/Tonycarbs


Posted By: Takyle
Date Posted: 09 September 2014 at 9:22pm
I honestly dunno how you manage to keep on keeping on with some of the junk that I imagine comes your way bossman.
Dying on the way to gahboom is pretty serious though. At least it made me laugh!

edit: deleted funky text


Posted By: Erithalon.
Date Posted: 09 September 2014 at 9:30pm
How many inquires do Imms get a day? a month?

I wonder how often people report stuff.

In 3 years, I have interacted with the staff like ... 4 times.


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There are 80 characters on, the most on for this boot was 17709.
The most we've ever had on was 17709.


Posted By: Beydalar
Date Posted: 10 September 2014 at 9:56am
Thanks Scorn.  I'll take all of this under advisement.


Posted By: Valthorgyn
Date Posted: 10 September 2014 at 10:36am
I think it's fairly obvious this thread is about MONBO. 

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"All warfare is based on deception." - Sun Tzu


Posted By: Lunez
Date Posted: 10 September 2014 at 1:24pm
Is it appropriate that I was humming along to this song in my head while reading this thread? ;)




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http://www.dsl-mud.org/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=92016&title=elite-gladiator-signup" rel="nofollow - ELITE GLADIATOR SIGNUP





Posted By: Eaga
Date Posted: 10 September 2014 at 5:52pm
Are drama queens like drag queens?

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Posted By: Beydalar
Date Posted: 10 September 2014 at 7:03pm
No it's more of a theatre duchess.


Posted By: Nazca
Date Posted: 10 September 2014 at 7:31pm
Originally posted by Erithalon. Erithalon. wrote:

How many inquires do Imms get a day? a month?

I wonder how often people report stuff.

In 3 years, I have interacted with the staff like ... 4 times.


A lot. :) Far more than, say, if every player had only complained four times in three years.

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Posted By: Eaga
Date Posted: 10 September 2014 at 7:38pm
Originally posted by Beydalar Beydalar wrote:

No it's more of a theatre duchess.

Ah. Got it.


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Posted By: purplegurl
Date Posted: 22 September 2014 at 1:47pm

Scorn, I love you man - this is the most amazing thing I've seen in my whole time of playing DSL!  <3



Posted By: IxiKweez
Date Posted: 04 October 2014 at 1:50pm
He who smelt it, dealt it. :O

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Azjuhb OOC: '<3 BBC'



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